I Still would have chosen you - By Terri Banish
If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you
If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering", I still would have chosen you
If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you
Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you.
When I read these words I instantly thought of all the horrible things that come along with having a child with ARPKD (like suffering, tears, and heartbreak). Then my mind shifted to the amazing child I have and how at the end of the day I wouldn't trade him for the world. I truly believe God chose Henry for me. He knew I needed someone like Henry in my life.
I am a believer that we are shaped by our experiences. Henry is the amazing child he is today because of this disease. I am a more patient, compassionate, loving, laid back, involved, aware, educated and enlightened mother because of this disease. I have chosen to not let this disease strip away all that is good but allow me to truly appreciate and relish in all the little miracles that happen. My son being one of those.
For me Henry is this little ball of love and light. Like all children he has that innocence about him. The childish wonder that fills your heart up with joy. I see his smile and can't imagine a life without him. I am so glad that he was brought into my life and I feel so blessed that luck has been on our side thus far in this disease. And I can honestly say with every ounce of my being that if I had known then what I know now I still would have chosen him.
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